It’s no secret that the beloved Seafair Pirates will play a big role in Saturday’s Waterland Parade in Des Moines (starting at 6 p.m.), but what isn’t that well known is where the heck those scurvy dogs will be before and after said parade.

Well mateys, our sister site The Waterland Blog (which rhymes with ‘Grog’) have got the inside scoop, and you read it here first – here’s where Ye can party hardy with Ye Seafair Pirates in Des Moines on Saturday, July 23rd:

4:45 p.m. – 5:15 p.m.: Raid the Yard Arm Pub (812 South 230th Street, Des Moines)

6 p.m.: The Waterland Parade!

7 p.m. – 7:45 p.m.: Raid the Light House Bar (22239 Marine View Drive So.)

8 p.m.+: Raid Barnacles Restaurant & Lounge (22636 Marine View Dr So.)

If you’ve never paaarghtaken in a Seafair Pirate ‘Raid,’ you’re in for a treat – they sing all sorts of humorous, sometimes inappropriate songs (hey, they’re Pirates for cryin’ out loud!), flirt with all the lassies within the establishment, and have a grand ol’ time all in the name of gettin’ some free grog!

It’s a hoot, and we highly encourage all adults over 21 to try and attend. You may even get to kiss a pirate, and/or come away with a button or sticker!

Here be some scenes from the last time the Pirates raided Des Moines, in 2009:

Highline High School’s annual Homecoming Pep Rally will take place Friday, Oct. 29th from 3pm – 5pm at Burien Town Square, with lots of exuberant young fans, marching band and more.

After the Pep Rally, participants will then march on over to Highline Stadium for the big game.

Here are the details:

WHAT: Highline High School Homecoming Pep Rally.

WHEN: Friday, Oct. 29th from 3pm – 6pm.

WHERE: Burien Town Square (map).

INFO: For more info on Highline High School, check out their website here.

We have a hot inside tip that our friends the Seafair Pirates will “raid” three bars in Burien this Sunday following the Independence Day Parade.

The three bars be The Mark Restaurant (918 SW 152nd), Elmer’s Pub (15027 Ambaum Blvd SW) and CC’s Lounge (635 SW 152nd Street).

Shhhhh…don’t tell anyone you read it here first, but if you’re around after the parade, make sure you follow the Moby Duck and check out how these scurvy lads get free drinks by boisterously singing some hilarious “pirate songs.”

Oh, and if ye be of the female persuasion, be on the lookout for some mighty flirtatious behavior from these bad boys.

Consider yersef warned!

by Josh Hart

FINAL: Kennedy 61, Highline 0

FIRST QUARTER: Kennedy 20 Highline 0
The first quarter was, well…horrible! I guess it depends on which team you were rooting for. If you wanted Kennedy I would say it went pretty well. Within the first five minutes Kennedy had scored three touchdowns and was up 20-0. Highline didn’t play well on either side of the ball. They got ran over by Kennedy, they were stunned coming out of the gates and they couldn’t regain control. As far as offense went I don’t think Highline had a first down all quarter. Kennedy’s offense wasn’t anything special; a team of 8 year olds could have scored just as many points as they did.

SECOND QUARTER: Kennedy 34 Highline 0
Highline played better in the second quarter offensively and defensively. They only let up two touchdowns, and even forced Kennedy to punt a few times. They also had a great fumble recovery that sparked a fire in their defense; they didn’t let up a touchdown after. They played better offensively, even though they didn’t get a touchdown. They moved the chains a couple times and their running game looked a lot better.

THIRD QUARTER: Kennedy 40 Highline 0
Highline has improved each quarter. They only let up one touchdown this quarter and looked a lot better. The problem was nobody had any motivation to play anymore. The fans were quiet, the players looked somber and nothing was exciting. They were all slowly winding down.

FOURTH QUARTER: Kennedy 61 Highline 0
This quarter was pointless to play – nobody competed. The fans, the cheerleaders, everybody was quiet. Highline let up a few more touchdowns and made the loss worse.

FINAL: Kennedy 61; Highline 0

1. First, get yer booty up ta’ Party City an’ get yerself a pirate costume (just don’t ferget ye ol’ plastic parrot for ye shoulder)
2. Strut ’round Olde Burien in full pirate regalia, sayin’ things a pirate would to th’ local merchants (pirate lexicon & tips available here)
3. Go buy some new food fer yer hungry plastic shoulder parrot at Wild Birds Unlimited next ta’ Trader Joe’s
4. Rush into Trader Joe’s in full costume and ridicule the whole “where’s the monkey hiding” kid’s game really loudly in pirate speak (yet makin’ sure ta’ videotape it an’ sendin’ us yer YouTube link fer postin’!)
5. Go cheer on ye ol’ local high school football team, the Highline Pirates (“Arrgh Team!”) as they take on Mt. Rainier at 7pm at Highline Stadium
6. Go see one o’ the final performances of the Hi-Liners’ Peter Pan (showtime be 7:30pm; buy yer tix here ya scurvy dog!)
7. Drive slowly around SW 152nd near Lake Burien in hopes of findin’ ye Seafair Pirates’ “Moby Duck” amphibious mascot vehicle that be known ta’ hang ’round these here parts; if ye find it, be sure’n take pix of yeself wit’ it ta’ send us
8. Watch this video to learn how ye too can be talkin’ like a pirate in no time:

Click here to view the embedded video.

From BTB Advertiser Philip Kelley comes this joke:

Arrrgh! I loves Pirates. So in honor of Talk like a Prate Day, I thought I’d share one o’my favorite Pirate jokes with you worthless landlubbers:

Two Pirates are talking over their tankards of dark rum, one sez to the other “Ayyy, those are mighty nice earrings you’ve got there Pegleg Pete.”

“Oh, thanks. I bought these off’a one-eyed Spaniard in New Orleans; paid two dollars for ‘em.”

“Arrrgh, that’s a pretty good deal for a buccaneer.”

Avast, that’s funny.

PK

The raiding scalliwags included “DC” and “ClapEye,” two real, working Seafair Pirates who even have their own trading cards (DC is on the left, ClapEye on the right)

 

The occasion was to help the young Hi-Liner cast, especially those playing the roles of pirates in “Peter Pan,” to better understand how to portray the part realistically.

“I bet you’re all waiting for me to utter that infamous 18th letter of the alphabet, aren’t ya?” quipped DC, whose duds made it obvious that he outranked his lowly co-hort, ClapEye. “But a true pirate never says such a letter, no. A true pirate needn’t stoop to Hollywood cliches and stereotypes, so there’s no need to say that dreaded 18th letter…”

After the entire room agreed by shouting the dreaded 18th letter, DC then entertained them with tales of what accents to use (cockney is best, even though it’s technically inaccurate but sounds ‘piratey’ enough), how to work with props, why pirates always exaggerate everything, how to handle a fake sword or gun, and why his clothes were fancier than ClapEye’s (he outranked him and therefore had more loot).

One highlight of the visit was when DC asked how the young pirates would take a swig from a (prop) Rum bottle. As quickly as you can do Jack Sparrow slurring the 18th letter of the alphabet, a young pirate-acting woman named Gillian Peterson jumped up to volunteer. Below is an animation of her swig:

The Hi-Liners’ “Peter Pan” starts flying at the Highline Performing Arts Center Sept. 6th.

Buy tickets online here.

Hi-Liners website here.

View Larger Map

From the Seafair Pirates website:

Starting her life as a 1946 vintage amphibian landing craft or DUKW, the Moby Duck came to the Seafair Pirates in 1954, permanently replacing a DUKW that had been loaned to the Pirates by the US Coast Guard.

Adorned with a writhing Chinese dragon painted by the late Weaver Dial, the Moby Duck made her debut in the 1954 Seafair celebrations.

Over the years Weaver often changed the paintwork. Variant schemes were tried but always the Duck returned to a “Spanish galleon” design, the better to announce to the world that it was indeed a genuine ship.

The first major refit for the Duck was in 1970, just before the Seafair Pirates traveled to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. It was this refit that saw the platform built on her stern transformed in the the first real “poop deck.”

With the passing of years, Moby’s stern grew in scale until reaching her maximum size during the 1991 refit by Captain Gary Kuhn. With only an occasional daub paint this version of the Duck made it through the 90s, but by and by the massive stern begun to sag and another major refit was desperately needed.

Recently, the Moby Duck was stripped down to the bare metal, exposing the extent of time’s damage. Rust was slowly eating her away. The first order of business was to remove fifty years (layers) of paint. Only then all the damage in the coachwork was repaired. Rusted metal was cut away and new plates were welded in, work continued until every dent and hole repaired. Meanwhile, a new poop deck was being fabricated of steel. Smaller and lighter , the steel quarter deck was then trimmed out in wood and fitted on the stern of the Duck.

Finally, painted in the red. gold and black of the 17th century ships of the line, the Moby Duck was ready to again sail forth with the crew of bloodthirsty Seafair Pirate.

And at least for one afternoon, it sits alone, quietly parked on SW 152nd.

Perhaps it’s longing for the nearby waters of Lake Burien?

Or perhaps the driver lives there?

Or (gulp), maybe it was duck-jacked and left behind? (last year someone stole some gold-plated cannons off it, so it’s feasible, matey…)

From what we can tell, the closest event this schooner on wheels will be attending is the West Seattle Hi-Yu Parade on July 19th or the Renton River Days July 26th.

So…does anyone know (or have any ideas) why said ship was in B-Town today?

Please email us, or risk walkin’ the plank ya scurvy dog!

UPDATE: Avast, it appears that all of B-Town is under a ful-fledged pirate attack!

We just found this listing on Craigslist today:

Small Pirate Devil Duck – $4 (Burien)

Small black rubber pirate devil duck

$4.00 cash only please.