Burien native John Requa, right, with his filmmaking partner Glenn Ficarra.

by Scott Schaefer

A few years back, you might have seen a young man running around Burien’s Gregory Heights neighborhood with a Super-8 or VHS movie camera, telling his friends what to do, when to do it and where.

And perhaps even one time you called the cops on him because his actors were carrying pellet guns!

That young man is named John Requa, and now he’s all grown up but doing the same thing, only in a different city – Hollywood, CA – and making a darn good living doing it, including directing a film that will be playing at the Tin Theater (BTB Advertiser) next week (Fri. Feb. 10 – Thurs., Feb. 16 at 7:30 p.m.) called ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love,‘ a romantic comedy starring Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone and others:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Requa, who was born at Group Health Hospital, grew up in the Gregory Heights neighborhood of Burien. Influenced by the many movies he watched with his father while growing up, John’s childhood ambition was to be a film director. As a kid, John made many movies with his neighborhood friends in Gregory Heights, which also happens to be the name of the school in “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” He attended Gregory Heights School from kindergarten to first grade, then attended St. Francis and Highline High School, where he performed skits for his school assemblies, even acting in his senior play. John then went to Pratt Institute in New York, where he studied film and ended up meeting his writing/directing partner Glenn Ficarra. John and Glenn have been working together ever since, both as screenwriters and directors. They have written screenplays for several films including “Bad Santa,” and their directing debut, “I Love You Phillip Morris”. And most recently directed “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” John and Glenn recently started their own production company and are currently working on several different projects.

Here’s an interview with John and Glenn:

Click here to view the embedded video.

John still flies to Burien from LA on a regular basis with his wife and 3-year old son. He has a brother, sister, parents and good friends in Seattle and a sister in Yakima. And yes, he still roots for the Seahawks.

We managed to track John down and conducted a quick Q & A that shares some insight into how the Burien area played into his growing movie-making career:

Q: What were some of your favorite shooting locations in the area?
A: Seahurst Park was my favorite.

Q: Did you ever complete a full film as a kid?
A: Yes, I made four 20-minute films in and around Gregory Heights, Burien and Normandy Park.

Q: What advice you you have for aspiring filmmakers?
A: Best way to learn to make movies is to make movies. Don’t worry about quality. Just make them and learn. It’s easier to do them now than it ever was.

Q: What was it about growing up here that inspired you to make movies?
A: Burien’s proximity to Downtown which had a plethora of arthouse theaters and allowed me to see all of classic American and foreign films in the theater with an audience.

Q: Any other Burien/area-related anecdotes?
A: One time we were shooting a scene with pellet guns. Someone in the neighborhood thought they were real guns and called the police, and the police ended up pulling their guns on us!

‘Crazy. Stupid. Love.’ plays at BTB Advertiser The Tin Theater from Friday, Feb. 10 to Thursday, Feb. 16 at 7:30 p.m. nightly. Don’t forget to print your own Coupon for FREE popcorn here. More info at http://tintheater.com.

Shawn's friend Michelle successfully deciphers Sundance signage and finds the restaurants. Or is it the screening rooms?

by Shawn Underwood

Every time I run into Scott (slave driver) Schaefer he inquires after a ‘bit’ for The B-Town Blog—like I have nothing else to do. Note to self—do not post fun excursions with stupid pictures on Facebook. Scott will come calling…

Last week I was in Utah at the Sundance Film Festival. By happenstance Sundance coincided with a therapy trip for me. Seriously. I have lymphedema in my left leg and well, it’s a long story but if you are interested in medical stuff, you can follow up on my lymphedema blog. My surgery and follow up treatment are documented. But I digress.

My friend’s husband scored several premiere tickets for us. The one and only Sundance Kid made an appearance before the movie and can I just say, HANDSOME, HOT AND SUPER HOT!!! You get the picture, and oh yeah, he said something too but I was distracted. Go figure.

The first movie we ‘premiered’ in Park City, was suitably named; ‘The Queen of Versailles’. It detailed the rise and subsequent fall of the King of Time-Shares, Mr. Segal and wife, Jackie, a former over-exposed, Mrs. America. The documentary/reality show is a testament to waste and bad taste, with the opening scene documenting the construction of the ‘biggest house in America.’ It ended as a riches to rags story. Mr. Time –Share’s final line, ‘are we done here?’ Very telling. Theater gossip says Mr. Time-Share is suing Sundance and the movie producer for defamation. Coincidentally, this was also one of the first movies sold at Sundance, where none of the movies (for the first time in Sundance history) had distribution before being premiered. Mrs. Segal sat near the front of the theater. Her husband, very noticeably absent.

Luckily, the second show we had tickets for took place at the Sundance resort. Let me just say—LOVE what Bob’s done with the resort. No messing with the masses in order to board a shuttle bound for a high school posing as a movie theater. Sundance Resort houses the original ‘screening room’. We lined up for Monsieur Lazhar, a Canadian film that appears on the recently announced Oscar shortlist for foreign language films. The film has also been nominated for a Genie award—the Canadian Oscar. Based on the play Evelyne de la Cheneliere, Monsieur Lazhar walks unannounced into the principal’s office to apply for a recently vacated teachers position. He is unaware the teacher has committed suicide. The principal—nearly undone by the act of the well-liked teacher, hires him. Eventually we discover the Algerian immigrant, Mr. Lazhar is battling his personal demons yet he is able to move past this and bond with his students. There are moments of lightness in the film—a relief in an otherwise very emotional story. Well worth seeing, however we didn’t SEE anyone famous—that happened later in the evening during dinner.

Mr. Chris Rock attended Sundance to preview his new film, “2 Days in New York.” Chris and I split a steak and Caesar salad at a great steak house in Park City. Well sort of – I split a steak with my friend and Chris sat across from us. It’s like we shared a dinner together. Really.

So as I was saying, later in the evening at the Canyon Resort VIP big deal party I ran into, oh you know…Jason Ritter, Jesse Eisenberg (the Facebook dork dude), Hercules aka: Kevin Sorbo, Entertainment Tonight guy and Bare Naked Ladies lead singer guy (close second to Bob in HOT category). For some reason, I had a sudden attack of shyness and talked to ummm, nobody. Nobody famous anyway, but I got my groove on and learned a few new dance moves from the mostly twenty-something guests.

And finally, Mr. B-Town Blog (super famous) wants to know how Sundance Resort and Park City compare to B-town. Well we have the Tin Theater in Tin-sel town also know as Burien, the Hi-Liners put on a fine show, AND I hear Mr. B-Town Blog is starting his own radio station…

Twenty-five years of living in Burien gives Humorist Shawn Underwood much fodder for her writings.

All of her stories are true, or at least have a grain of truth with no added embellishments.

Or something like that.

And have you bought her new book “Mommy Are We French Yet?” yet? Buy it here.

Read more of her humor at her website here.

by Philip Benais

Bloodz vs. Wolvez: Directed by Z. Winston Brown; Malik Burke, Richard Carroll Jr. and Kandiss Marie.

Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t quite know how to convey what I feel about Bloodz Vs. Wolvez. I could easily discuss the provocative symbolism that puts Tarkovsky to shame. I could discuss how a film greater than even Citizen Kane or Casablanca managed to elude the presence of the so called ‘Academy’. I could discuss how no other auteur has illuminated the human condition better than Z. Winston Brown in the history of film…but that is not what I’ll talk about. Instead, I will demonstrate the preposterous assault on this perfect film by underprivileged rubes, who dare not be mentioned in the same sentence as a line of dialogue from this masterpiece. The filthy charlatans that snicker and sneer at what they could never comprehend or hope to accomplish. The blasphemous thieves that have pilfered sacred, nay, ANGELIC elements of this gift from a gracious God.

As many of these heathens will say, the film is poorly structured, laughably acted and plotted worse than an episode of Jersey Shore. LIES; monstrous concoctions of feeble intellects grasping for relevance in a world that has passed them by. The opening narration itself is a testament to the act of creation. No doubt while working on ‘Kinky Kong’ Brown was struck with the revelation of every great artist, promptly authoring narration that any mongoloid could give to Morgan Freeman. No, this brave, gentle soul chose instead to have the narration very difficult to hear and the actor unlisted. Think of the parallels in history, the greatest minds of the world snuffed into insignificance by tyrants. Hence, Brown has already given us a work filled with the passionate heartbeat of every oppressed soul throughout history. Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. The scene which follows gives us the character of Unnamed Real Estate Agent #1. The lack of any defining characteristics allows this actor (who must have been classically trained) to morph within the scenery and as such become the film. In a sense, the seemingly insignificant Mike Tyson sound alike has personified an audience disillusioned with 3-D and Michael Bay, the parlor tricks of soulless elite to inflict on its serfs.

The rest of the film presents moral dilemmas and dramatic tension the world itself is not ready for. On the surface, you could say the plot is nothing more than poor vs. rich, Palestinian vs. Israeli etc. but as we all know from cooking soup, scum sits on the surface. The true breadth and width of this wonder is realizing the culmination of every possible majesty this space rock has to offer us. That culmination is what some have dubbed the ‘Imma shit on yo newspaper’ scene, which so described is almost as if you were offered the chance to gaze into the wonders of the infinite and instead chose to do Mad Libs. What these loathsome creatures fail to realize is that the newspaper scene, however brief you may want to chastise it for being, emanates with the vitality of pure, unbridled love. The newspaper represents the faceless, heartless terror that every human being must conquer to realize their potential in a depraved world. The feces represents the rejection of oppression and thus the dawn of revolution, ushering in an age of enlightenment and utopia. Cujo’s facial expressions recognize the soul deadening monotony of everyday life as a figment of the giant tortoise’s imagination that we are all just dreams experiencing each other over and over and over, until eventually we must awaken to our death.

I cannot recommend the life changing experience of Bloodz. Vs. Wolvez anymore than I could recommend being alive. While it ended I was sucked into the vortex of holiness, and I knew then and there that I must devote myself to spreading the gospel of its nirvana. In the name of the cat noises, the sausage links and the holy newspaper, amen.

RATING: ****** / *****

[Armond White, eat your heart out. I’d like to thank all of my haters, without which none of this would have been possible. Keep up the great work letting ruffians like myself know how the cow ate the cabbage while your miserable lives crawl on without me.]

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Philip Benais is was one of our Interns, a 17-year old student at Big Picture High School in SeaTac. He's an aspiring Writer who loves movies, so we let him write reviews for us.

Read more of his work here.]

REMINDER: Concession sales by Hanna Rasmussen and friends at tonight’s FREE ‘Movies in the Park’ showing of “Despicable Me” at Lake Burien School Park will benefit injured Burien teen Whitney Sellers, who was severely injured after being hit in a crosswalk Aug. 7th.

Hanna and friends will be there early (we hear they’ll be setting up around 6:30 p.m.; the movie starts around 8:30 p.m.) selling popcorn, juice, water and other assorted movie treats, with all proceeds going to the Whitney Sellers Recovery Fund.

NOTE: We also have it on very good authority that Whitney herself will try to show up around 8 p.m., so it’s worth getting there early just to give her your best wishes! (we’ll see you there!)

Whitney Sellers

As many of our Readers may recall, Whitney, 13, was hit in a Burien crosswalk and severely injured Aug. 7th, and her family is in need of donations to cover medical expenses – read our previous coverage here.

Lake Burien School Park is located at SW 148th & 16th Ave SW, and the film is set to start around 8:30 p.m., so be sure to bring a blanket and cash for popcorn and goodies to help this young girl out.

For more information: www.BurienParks.net or 206-988-3700.

Here’s a trailer of “Despicable Me”:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Burien’s Hanna Rasmussen and friends will be selling concessions to raise money for injured Burien teen Whitney Sellers at this Friday’s final ‘Movies in the Park’ FREE showing of “Despicable Me” at Lake Burien Park, which begins at 8:30 p.m.

Hanna and friends will be there early selling popcorn, juice, water and movie treats, with all proceeds going to the Whitney Sellers Recovery Fund.

Whitney Sellers

Whitney, 13, was hit in a Burien crosswalk and severely injured Aug. 7th, and her family is in need of donations to cover medical expenses – read our previous coverage here.

Lake Burien School Park is located at SW 148th & 16th Ave SW, and the film is set to start around 8:30 p.m., so be sure to bring a blanket and cash for popcorn and goodies to help this young girl out.

For more information: www.BurienParks.net or 206-988-3700.

Here’s a trailer of “Despicable Me”:

Click here to view the embedded video.

The City of Burien’s FREE annual Music and Movies in the Park (we’re Sponsors) continues this Friday night, Aug. 19th, as it shifts into Movie Night at around 8:30 p.m. at Lake Burien School Park with a screening of the Disney/Pixar classic ‘Toy Story 3.’

Lake Burien School Park is located at SW 148th and 16th Ave SW, and residents are encouraged to bring their family, blankets, lawn chairs, picnic dinners and more.

If you haven’t yet seen the latest installment of ‘Toy Story,’ here are some trailers of it (and we highly recommend it too):

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

For more information: www.BurienPark.net or 206-988-3700.

We’ll see ya at the show!

The City of Burien’s FREE annual Music and Movies in the Park (we’re Sponsors) is back, with ‘Lulu LaFever and the Hot Tamales‘ headlining the kickoff concert on Thursday night, July 7th at Lake Burien School Park.

Concerts will run from 6:30 p.m. – 8 p.m., unless otherwise noted.

“Summer is here and time to head to the park and enjoy some music and movies brought to you by Burien Parks, Recreation and Cultural Services!” reads a press release. “Bring your blanket, your lawn chairs, dancing shoes and picnic dinner to Lake Burien School Park and our new location at Hilltop School in North Burien!”

Concerts will start at Lake Burien School Park (SW 148th & 16th Ave SW) on July 7 and run through August 11th. Each Thursday night you will find fabulous music; Blues, Samba, Big Band, Rock and more! And don’t miss the Family Fiesta on July 14th with band Sambatuque, food and kids activites. New this year will be free dance lessons at 6pm—Samba on July 14th and Swing on July 21st!

New this year is a concert series at Hilltop Elementary School grounds (12250 24th Ave S) on Wednesdays, July 13-27th. Come and enjoy three great bands; Banda Vagos, Global Heat and The Camano Cadillac Band.

And end the summer with some fun movies under the stars at Lake Burien Park. One August 19th we will be showing Toy Story 3, and on August 26th watch Despicable Me. Movies start at dusk (around 8:30 p.m.).

For more information: www.BurienParks.net or 206-988-3700.

Here’s the lineup, including videos of some of the entertainment:

Thursday Night Concerts: 6:30-8:00 PM, Lake Burien School Park (directions)

Thursday, July 7: Lulu LaFever and the Hot Tamales (Sizzlin’ jazz, hot swing and sultry blues!):

July 14: Family Fiesta featuring Sambatuque (Free Samba dance lessons from 6-6:30, food, games & more!):

Click here to view the embedded video.

July 21: 85th Street Big Band with dancing by Swing-amajig (Free swing dance lessons from 6-6:30!):

July 28: The Seatles (Come and sing along to your Beatles favorites!):

Click here to view the embedded video.

August 4: The Diamond Experience (The look, the sound, is it Neil Diamond?  Come and sing along!):

Click here to view the embedded video.

August 11: Boomerang Summer (A revival of rock and soul!):

New Wednesday Night Concerts
6:30-8:00 PM, Hilltop Elementary School, 12250 24th Ave South (directions)

Thursday, July 13: Banda Vagos:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Thursday, July 20: Global Heat:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Thursday, July 27: Camano Cadillac Band:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Friday Night Movies: Movies start at dusk (around 8:30 PM) Lake Burien School Park (directions)

Friday, August 19: Toy Story 3:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Friday, August 26: Despicable Me:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Just received word from our friends at the White Center Art Walk that they’re seeking films to show at three different locations at their upcoming June 18th Art Walk.

We previously posted that they’re looking for just three films, but we have since been corrected:

“We are looking to put three (3) 20-30 minute programs together,” said Amanda Kay Helmick, co-curator. “So we are looking for lots of shorts, not just three!”

They’re looking for three genres: family-friendly, “edgy” and music-related.

The three locations and details of each are:

• Southgate Skating Rink (a family friendly program)
• Big Al’s Brewery (more edgy program)
• Full Tilt (more music filled program)

“What we are looking for are short films,” added Helmick. “Animation, music videos, power pieces, light pieces, dark pieces, etc. We are trying to get (3) 20 – 30 minute programs together. We can take each piece on a variety of formats, and will put it together at a location post production house in Seattle. The art walk is Saturday June 18th!”

This is an open call to to all local residents, film organizations, film programs and schools.

If interested, please send an email to whitecenterartwalk@gmail.com by next Friday, June 3rd with your name, length of piece, subject matter and contact info.

“Unfortunately, there is no compensation for the use of the pieces, but there will be great exposure in Seattle’s coolest enclave!” added Amanda.

The City of Burien announced Friday (May 20th) their schedule for the 2011 ‘Music & Movies In The Park,’ to be held on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights beginning July 7th, and we’re first with the lineup.

New this year will be three Wednesday night concerts at Hilltop Elementary School, located at 12250 24th Ave South:

• July 13: Banda Vagos–Traditional Mexican Music!
• July 20: Global Heat–World Hip Hop with a Twist of R&B!
• July 27: The Camano Cadillac Band–Keepin’ it Country!

MUSIC: (6:30pm – 8pm at Lake Burien School Park, located at SW 148th & 16th Ave SW, unless otherwise noted)

• JULY 7: LULU LAFEVER
  Sizzlin’ Jazz, Hot Swing, and Sultry Blues!
• JULY 21: 85TH STREET BIG BAND
  Bring those dance shoes again! Swing and dance away! Free swing lessons from 6-6:30pm.
• JULY 14: A LATIN FIESTA WITH SAMBATUQUE!
  Vibrant and eclectic blend of music from Brazil and the Caribbean. Free Samba lessons from 6:00-6:30, kids activities, Latin food and more! Put on your dancing
• JULY 28: THE SEATLES
  A Beatles Sing-a-Long!
• AUGUST 4: THE DIAMOND EXPERIENCE
  The look, the sound, is it Neil Diamond? Come and sing along!
• AUGUST 11: BOOMERANG SUMMER
  A revival of rock and soul!

MOVIES: (start at Dusk – around 8:30pm)

• AUGUST 19: TOY STORY 3
• AUGUST 26: DESPICABLE ME

On rainy evenings, please call (206) 988-3700 after 5pm to learn if concert/movie has been relocated.

As many of our Readers may recall, we also lent a hand to our friends at Burien Parks back in February, when we ran a survey asking which movies people would like to see, and we’re happy to say that the good folks there mostly followed our results, except for excluding “Princess Bride”:

I would go to ‘Movies in the Park’ if you showed (pick 2):

• Toy Story 3 (46%, 90 Votes)
• Princess Bride (38%, 75 Votes)
• Despicable Me (33%, 65 Votes)
• Sound of Music (28%, 55 Votes)
• Wall-e (17%, 33 Votes)
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (16%, 31 Votes)

To download your own poster, click here.

For more information call 206-988-3700 or www.BurienParks.net.

by Philip Benais

Sucker Punch; Directed By Zack Synder: Starring Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Oscar Isaac, Carla Gugino, Jon Hamm and Scott Glenn.

Critical consensus is a concept that should be disregarded in terms of enjoying a film. I know this sounds strange coming from a critic, but speaking as a film lover first and foremost, when you hear the term ‘critical consensus’, that should not sway your opinion on whether or not you want to see a film. According to Metacritic, one of the largest compilations of critical views on the Internet, Superman II is a better film than Metropolis. It sounds absurd I know, but if you just go by the average that’s what you’ll find. Furthermore, sometimes having a different opinion than the majority can be dangerous. I for one, loved the Green Hornet film and even got kudos from the film’s director for the nice things I said. Just going by what everyone else said however, that film was in the same league as one of the Saw sequels or The Flintstones movie, even though we all know that’s nonsense.

Speaking personally, I have a whole laundry list of films I love that have been tossed aside by just about everyone else; I think Equilibrium is a woefully underrated masterpiece. I really enjoyed Cool World. I also don’t care what anyone else says, Hudson Hawk is priceless.

Where am I going with this you may ask? Although I hate to admit it, sometimes the majority of critics are right. Sucker Punch is one of those times. Just judging from the previews, I assumed I’d have another film to add to that laundry list, but instead what I saw was juvenile, exploitative and not fit for anyone. Whoever described this film as ‘Alice In Wonderland with machine guns’ has either been huffing too much gas or is on Zack Snyder’s payroll, if not the mouth breather himself.

It pains me to say it, but now I can’t look at the Watchmen film the same way ever again. If this is what Zack Snyder brings us when he’s in full creative control, I’m frightened by what his Superman project will bring. Maybe that one will be described as ‘The Brothers Karamazov with General Zod” It would be just as ridiculous as this ‘film.’

About here is usually the part of the review that I recap the plot for those interested but unfortunately dear readers I’m not sure what, if anything happened in Sucker Punch besides a metaphorical shot to the nether regions. What I can be sure of is there is a girl named Baby Doll (Really? Really Zack Snyder?) whose mother dies and whose stepfather kills her sister. (All in Slow Motion too) Doll is then locked up in a mental hospital and awaits lobotomizing. Somewhere in that skeletal outline, Snyder managed to fit in seventy-foot samurai, glass robots and steampunk nazis. Congratulations Zack, you managed to combine the degradation of women in sick rape scenarios with a horrible numetal/00’s MTV soundtrack and so much slo-mo that I nearly threw up.

Truly a visionary. Much in the same sense as M. Night Shyamalan or Catherine Hardwicke, except I think I enjoyed The Last Airbender more than Sucker Punch, and more condemnation I could not possibly give to any modern film.

Let’s start with the most immediateproblem; the story. (Or rather, the lack thereof) We know Baby Doll has lost her mother and sister, but is there any reason to care? Of course not. They were merely machinations to advance the CGI effects driven ‘plot’. The stepfather then calls for her to be put in a mental institution and lobotomized…but what a minute, where in the hell are we? Is this a city, a town, a hillbilly hoedown? What time period is this taking place in? The past? The present? The future? (Godforbid) Can we know anything else about Baby Doll than the excessive opening where she not only fails to save her sister, but also doesn’t kill the man responsible? Of course not, we’re too busy establishing a fantasy world that has NO impact on the real world whatsoever. I won’t spoil what happens out of the decency in my heart, but let’s just say that evil triumphs over good, and all of the fantasizing about Baby Doll and her fellow inmates as warrior chicks is useless. The point that the film was sold on actually doesn’t matter one bit. You know what does matter apparently? The actual reality of the film where women are raped, beaten and then lobotomized. By the end of the trite narration that permeates this festering corpse of a film you’ll feel as if you’ve been living in a dumpster for three weeks; sullied, disgusted and hollowed out.

It doesn’t help that the actresses they picked wouldn’t be able to convince you to fetch them a glass of water, let alone that they’re tormented women locked away in an evil place. It’s quite fitting that the lead actress from the High School Musical series has a role in this film, as that’s an accurate description of the amount of talent you’ll find here. Carla Gugino is by far the worst, making Ayn Rand sound like Audrey Hepburn with her tooth gratingly bad accent. It wasn’t enough for her to be one of the weak links in Watchmen I guess, because now she’s managed to beat women with lines like ‘If we get caught we’re dead.’ ‘We’re already dead.’ Which brings me to my second point. Don’t expect any of the quality writing you found in Watchmen, because all you’ll get is a sickening combination of every cliché that directors can scrape from the bottom of the barrel. Not only could I predict almost every line of dialogue once I figured out the formula, but every action scene as well. When you’re film has steampunk nazis, I expect originality to follow, but I suppose ripping off The Matrix for every fight scene is back in style. By the time the fiftieth dive in mid-air happened when Baby Doll was fighting the samurais, I thought I had reached a point where I would no longer enjoy any film with any trace of slo-mo. If you thought 300 was ridiculous, try a movie where a woman of 5’2 kills a dragon in the longest five second stab of your life. I guess that’s Snyder’s idea of ‘progress’.

Perhaps I could have forgiven a lot of this if the soundtrack was decent, or at least included one hard, grooving metal song. What was I treated to instead? A butchering of a Eurythmics classic and ‘rock’ that was popular when Limp Bizkit were the hottest item around. Thanks Zack, for bringing me back to a time where people actually listened to Evanescence and called it dignified. It wasn’t enough to set the women’s rights movement back more than Bella Swan, it wasn’t enough to betray the remaining trust anyone had in you, but now you have to remind me of girls who smell like old meat and write Naruto fan fiction. You had better count your lucky stars that I don’t know where you work, because I’d sure as hell stop you from destroying Superman the way you took my expectations and crushed them under-heel like a cockroach.

In short, I hated this film. I hated every moment of it. I expected a fun two hours where I could turn my brain off and enjoy warrior women beating up awesome bad guys, but what I got was one of the worst films in recent memory. This film was so bad that it has forever colored my perception of other films Zack Snyder has directed, films that I actually enjoyed on some level. I wanted to call the rabid anti-Snyder people fanboys, but now I feel their pain. This film is the equivalent of a bizarro Inception, but whereas Christopher Nolan is a genius, Zack Snyder is in the same boat as people like Richard Kelly, the man responsible for Southland Tales. I fear The Man Of Steel’s future as much as I fear the movie going public’s future. If this or worse is what we can expect from Zack Snyder, then consider me infuriated. By the way, Snyder should also feel very lucky that Alice is not a real person, or she’d take a machine gun and make him her first target, along with everyone involved in this wretched visual torture.

Rating:   / *****

VIDEOS:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Philip Benais is our newest Intern, a 16-year old student at Big Picture High School in SeaTac. He's an aspiring Writer who loves movies, so we let him write reviews for us.

Read more of his work here.]