Found on seattle-tacoma craigslist > seattle > free stuff:

FREE tree stump (burien)

it’s just sitting here so if you want it let me know. Thanks for looking

If ya want this normally-expensive rotting piece o’wood at a huge discount, you’d better email sale-883298229@craigslist.org pronto!

The roads and lane dividers in the Burien intersections cannot get much worse.

Seriously, with all of the weaving required due to hastily applied road lines and dashes, we may as well be living in the Wild West, and revert to riding horses. Hayes Feed and Country Store, (formerly Kirk’s Feed Store) on SW 152nd, has enough hay to feed 100 starving mustangs – now all they need are hitchin’ posts in place of the parking stalls in the front.

The kindergarten chalk marks (lane lines) on SW 148th, and on the cross streets of First Ave. South and SW 160th require Mario Andretti-like driving skills.

More than once I have witnessed zombie-like drivers attempting to drive through an intersection, and then stop in the middle of it.

“Where in tarnation is my lane?” they say to themselves.

While not an actual B-Town road, I think Burien's lane-painter learned from the Artist who did this masterpiece.

Once through the collision course intersection, take care not to run over the new constructed curb. The protrusion juts into the intersection, leaving the now thoroughly annoyed driver to either drive over the curb, or simply veer into the adjacent lane. This leads to “near misses” and most certainly to angry fists waving out the window, sometimes accompanied by foul language not printable in Underwood/Undercover’s column.

I wonder if the operator of city “lane-painting” machine is an artist. I imagine the dreadlocked artist thinking to himself, “Hmmm, these straight lines are so boring, a curvy line is really much more pleasant to look at.”

I personally take a deep breath when I motor behind people who get confused by the bumper car lanes. Maybe they are not “locals,” and are unaware of the haphazard lanes in the intersections, or perhaps a “Burienite” is late to work and looking for the toothpaste/toothbrush stashed in their deli-wagon.

Maybe it’s a test by the powers-that-be in the city of Burien. If we can navigate crooked laned intersections without causing mayhem and destruction, then possibly they will budget more money for planting REAL flowers in the center partition of 148th Avenue.

At one time cherry-colored pansies adorned the long median of SW 148th. Then the flowers were gone, not wilted, just dug up in the middle of the night. Some joker put a fake palm tree or some such thing in the median to replace the rainbow colored flowers. Possibly a hint to the city to plant REAL flowers, giving the taxpayers something to look at as we wait for the police to clear the inevitable fender bender in the poorly-painted intersection of death.

So, I am all about improving our little known oasis fondly known as “ B-Town,” but let’s get our priorities (or at least the lanes) in the intersections straight.

Otherwise, I guess I should be looking for a good “used” horse that can walk a straight line!

Twenty-five years of living in Burien gives Humorist Shawn Underwood much fodder for her writings.

All of her stories are true, or at least have a grain of truth with no added embellishments.

Or something like that.

Read more of her humor at her website here.

We’re always excited to see new businesses opening in our ‘hood, so we practically wet our pants when we spotted this signage by our blog offices near Ambaum Blvd. and SW 151st.

We were especially impressed with the handcrafted artwork and careful attention to detail the sign-painter used when creating this masterpiece.

Do you have any idea how long we’ve been waiting for an “Oak Untre Ote” to open here?

And can you believe that one will actually be opening in Burien soon? We’re getting in line now my friends…

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Found on: seattle-tacoma craigslist > seattle > general:

WHO’S THE BOSS COMPLETE FIRST SEASON 3 DISK SET – $5 (Seattle/Burien)

Selling Complete First Season of Who’s the Boss.

Great Conditon only been watched once.

Feel free to come by to take a look at it.

Cash Only Please.

Ask for Brian
206-243-2566
901 SW 118th ST
Seattle, WA 98146

Email: sale-847642783@craigslist.org

RUN FOR THE HILLS!

PEOPLE ARE SELLING THEIR BELOVED, VIEWED-ONLY-ONCE

“WHO’S THE BOSS” DVDs AT BARGAIN PRICES!

PRAISE BE TONY DANZA!

THE END IS NEAR!

The Rocky Horror Show is an outrageous musical comedy featuring a Transylvania transvestite, a cryogenically-preserved motor biker and Frankenstein’s monster (with a Charles Atlas twist).

This sexy send-up of horror and science fiction film genres will run at the Burien Little Theatre from Sept. 26 through Nov. 3 (opening night is Friday, Sept. 26).

Tickets are $5-$18 and can be purchased online here.

The show opens with two naive teenagers, Brad and Janet, who run into car problems in the midst of a rainstorm. To find a phone, Brad and Janet walk to a nearby residence, the Frankenstein castle.  Instead of the hoped-for phone, they find Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter, a mad scientist from another planet who is going to help the couple by removing “the cause, but not the symptoms.” The cure involves sexual escapades, floor shows, dancing, great music, the secret to life is revealed, and the show ends in a UFO, general chaos and sexual confusion for the previously naive Brad and Janet.

The Rocky Horror Show – music, lyrics and book by Richard O’Brien – debuted on stage June 19, 1973, in London where it ran for 2,960 performances before closing in early September of 1980. Since its debut, the show has been translated into a variety of languages and produced in cities all over the world, including two runs on Broadway. In 1975, the show was also made into the popular cult movie The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

THE CAST:
The Burien Little Theatre’s production of The Rocky Horror Show is directed by veteran BLT stage director Steve Cooper and music director Ann Sager. The show features the acting talents of Steve Bucheit (Frank ‘n’  Furter), Ashley Coates (Janet), Colin Madison (Brad), Jim Oestreich (Rocky), along with Ben Cornoyer, Michelle Flowers, Jackie Graybill, John Huddlestun, Jen Makenas, Allyson Manning,  Mok Moser, Dan Posluns, and Mark Williams.

THE MUSIC:
Richard O’Brien composed the music and lyrics for The Rocky Horror Show. This revival version of the production features 20 songs including the popular “Sweet Transvestite” and the highly participative “The Time Warp.” To make this soundtrack really throb, the Burien Little Theatre band includes Ann Sager, the show’s musical director, who is also playing the keyboard, Theron Andrews on lead guitar, Eddy Fey on bass guitar and, keeping the beat, Bill Riach on drums.

ABOUT BURIEN LITTLE THEATRE:
Community-based theater has been a tradition in Burien since 1955. Incorporated in 1980, The Burien Little Theatre (BLT) has been a leading producer of quality live theater serving residents of the Seattle and south Puget Sound areas. Burien’s Little Theatre Mission is to make every audience member’s experience at BLT a welcoming, lively and fun escape from the everyday world, beginning the moment they walk in the door, by providing high-quality, accessible and exciting theater. 
BLT is a non-profit 501c3 entity and operates on revenue from ticket sales, donations and volunteers.

THE SCHEDULE:

September 26 at 8:00pm – Friday: Your first chance to do the Time Warp with us!

September 27 at 8:00pm – Saturday

September 28 at 2:00pm – Sunday Matinee

October 3 at 8:00pm – Friday: Five Buck Friday, with Guest Narrator from Burien Parks Ms. Debbie Zemke

October 4 at 8:00pm – Saturday: Guest Narrator State Senator Joe McDermott

October 5 at 2:00pm – Sunday Matinee

October 10 at 8:00pm – Friday: Guest Narrator State Representative Sharon Nelson

October 11 at 8:00pm –  Saturday: Guest Narrator Burien City Councilmember Kathy Keene

October 12 at 2:00pm – Sunday Matinee

October 17 – NO SHOW!

October 18 at 8:00pm – Saturday: Guest Narrator Mr. Stephen Lamphear

October 19 at 2:00pm – Sunday Matinee: Guest Narrator United States Congressmember Jim McDermott

October 24 at 10:00pm – Friday

October 25 at 8:00pm – Saturday: Guest Narrator State Representative Dave Upthegrove

October 26 at 2:00pm – Sunday

October 31 at 10:00pm – Friday: HALLOWEEN!

November 1 at 8:00pm – Saturday

November 2 at 2:00pm – Sunday: FINAL SHOW! Your very last chance to do the Time Warp with us again!

To get you in the mood to buy tickets, here are a couple of videos from the cult film version:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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1. First, get yer booty up ta’ Party City an’ get yerself a pirate costume (just don’t ferget ye ol’ plastic parrot for ye shoulder)
2. Strut ’round Olde Burien in full pirate regalia, sayin’ things a pirate would to th’ local merchants (pirate lexicon & tips available here)
3. Go buy some new food fer yer hungry plastic shoulder parrot at Wild Birds Unlimited next ta’ Trader Joe’s
4. Rush into Trader Joe’s in full costume and ridicule the whole “where’s the monkey hiding” kid’s game really loudly in pirate speak (yet makin’ sure ta’ videotape it an’ sendin’ us yer YouTube link fer postin’!)
5. Go cheer on ye ol’ local high school football team, the Highline Pirates (“Arrgh Team!”) as they take on Mt. Rainier at 7pm at Highline Stadium
6. Go see one o’ the final performances of the Hi-Liners’ Peter Pan (showtime be 7:30pm; buy yer tix here ya scurvy dog!)
7. Drive slowly around SW 152nd near Lake Burien in hopes of findin’ ye Seafair Pirates’ “Moby Duck” amphibious mascot vehicle that be known ta’ hang ’round these here parts; if ye find it, be sure’n take pix of yeself wit’ it ta’ send us
8. Watch this video to learn how ye too can be talkin’ like a pirate in no time:

Click here to view the embedded video.

From BTB Advertiser Philip Kelley comes this joke:

Arrrgh! I loves Pirates. So in honor of Talk like a Prate Day, I thought I’d share one o’my favorite Pirate jokes with you worthless landlubbers:

Two Pirates are talking over their tankards of dark rum, one sez to the other “Ayyy, those are mighty nice earrings you’ve got there Pegleg Pete.”

“Oh, thanks. I bought these off’a one-eyed Spaniard in New Orleans; paid two dollars for ‘em.”

“Arrrgh, that’s a pretty good deal for a buccaneer.”

Avast, that’s funny.

PK

The other morning I awoke to the sounds of shouting and loud engines. Looking out the window, I noticed a plethora of boats in front of the house.

Hmmm, I guess the salmon are running, says I (which is weird, ‘cuz everyone knows salmon can’t run).

Later in the morning, as we walked the dogs along the beach (and yes, we were packing plenty of plastic poop bags thankyouverymuch), fisherman of all sizes and shapes were wading into the water with those rubber, thigh-high topper boots. They looked pretty serious (or at the very least wealthy) with their giant waders, pocketed vests full of fishing paraphernalia, and brightly colored sharp hook thingies hanging from their hats.

And of course, those $500 fishing rods.

Always looking for a story, I realized this was prime fodder for “Underwood/Undercover’s” column; action in the Three Tree Point neighborhood is usually newsworthy (and easy to cover since I can just walk to it).

After in-depth questioning from U.U., the wading fisherman told me that the annual Three Tree Point fishing derby was today. In fact, it was…right now! The fish “weigh in” was at high Noon on the corner of Three Tree Point. This really piqued my interest because I have not fished in some time and was itching to get out the old pole (rod in fish lingo) again.

Only a few things needed to be done to accomplish my goal:

1. A Fishing license needed to be procured post haste, as we just saw the Coast Guard speeding by. The fish cops were everywhere (I quickly checked my creel for a half-drunk can of Schmidt sport beer. Nope, all clear).
2. Find someone to row my boat – er, I mean fish with me and take notes.
3. Buy tackle at Big 5 Sporting Goods Store, however I had left the remainder of my cash on the table at 909 Coffee and Wine just this morning, so a trip to the cash machine was in order.
   
4. Wash “Ol’ Rusty” the trusty (but rusty) ol’ rowboat and drag it out of the weeds now growing over and into the boat.
5. Launch the boat (in other words, drag it down the hill and throw it over the bank.)

After I procured “the goods” from Big 5, I still needed to find someone to row the boat while I fished for “Walter” (code word for world’s biggest fish).

I found my lazy 18 year-old son in his usual spot – half asleep in front of the television. After much pleading on my part, he grunts something that sounded like: “maybe later.” But then again, I seem to have misplaced by Grunt-to-English Dictionary so I’m not really sure what the heck he said.

“Time is of the essence son, lets go, it will be a wonderful bonding experience!”

These words of encouragement fell on deaf ears. I think it was the utterance of the word “bonding” that sealed my doom.

Or the fact that I failed to translate my English to Grunt.

Seeing my curt dismissal from my son, my long-suffering husband then piped up and said he would be the “horse power” and row our 15-foot sturdy metal skiff (aka “Ol’ Rusty” which, come to think of it, isn’t so sturdy, and not so metallic anymore, and has probably rusted away some of its 15-foot length) while I fished.

After the usual bickering we launched the boat…well, sort of. Spouse rolled the rear-wheeled boat most of the way down the hill, and then pushed it over the bank. The loud crashing noise caused a nearby fisherman to look up, as if to say, “Not sporting old chap!” I noticed that his pipe fell out of his clenched teeth as he stared at us, mouth agape.

We caught a fish immediately with my pink florescent squid that I procured at Big 5. This marvelous little rubber-hooked-bouncer had always brought me good luck on my rare previous fishing forays. Our silver salmon was a good foot-and-a-half and put up quite a fight. We took a picture of the little fellow and let him go. Somehow I didn’t think my brave little fish would suffice for a “weigh in.” I couldn’t bear to keep him, and with my sketchy de-boning skills he would have been sushi by the time I finished with him.

My man-made horsepower rowed us around the point just in time for the weigh-in party. Little did we know that we were in for a treat. The great magician “Castro” (Who? Just in from Cuba perhaps??) performed a host of magic tricks, none of which involved rowing a rusty skiff or de-hooking an angry dogfish. However, the main event was the fish “weigh in,” and the prize awarded the biggest fish tale, I mean fish. The largest salmon weighed in at 17 pounds and had teeth to match. I spotted the usual assortment of dogfish and flounders but the salmon winner was a thing to behold.

And lo and behold – cna you guess which local neighborhood humor columnist won a prize?

Underwood/Undercover may have to take up a new hobby other than reporting the neighborhood happenings. I humbly accepted the “Best Sportsmanship” award, crediting my “man-made-horse-power” engine. Horsepower missed the award ceremonies, since he was just starting his long row back home in Ol’ Rusty, against the current (ha!).

As I walked home after the event, Horsepower loped up behind me. I proudly showed him our award and he held up his broken oar.

“I tied Ol’ Rusty up to a log on the beach,” he said.

The Three Tree Point Fishing Derby is held every year right before Labor Day, so come check it out. Wear your boots, and fish off the shore or procure a boat, hopefully with an engine.

It is my turn to row Ol’ Rusty next year, so I think we better start a few hours earlier.

Twenty-five years of living in Burien gives Humorist Shawn Underwood much fodder for her writings.

All of her stories are true, or at least have a grain of truth with no added embellishments.

Or something like that.

Read more of her humor at her website here.

Underwood Undercover here, entering the information superhighway via my coffee hole on-ramp office.

I look around to see what usual suspects are at the office today…er, um…I mean the Starbucks in Normandy Park.

Not only can I get a fresh brewed cup to my liking, I can observe the daily dramas that unfold. Not that I am eavesdropping. It’s not considered eavesdropping when it’s “research material” for my “column.” At times, customers breaking obvious coffee etiquette distract me, and that’s when I pull out my secret weapon: “air quotes.” Only these are used “in print” so “look out”!

Is it okay to talk loudly into your cell phone head set while in Starbucks?

NO, not okay.

One nearby yet unaware individual engages in a conversation over a phone that needs no phone if his intended recipient were within a mile of the booming voice. The only redeeming value in this obnoxious neighbor is the contest to insert made up replies to fill in the “blanks.” A casual observer might think this “Dress For Success” (unsuccessfully) person’s cheese has slipped off her cracker.  And who or what does the blabber look at when they impart their vital news? It is a bit bizarre, talking on one’s phone while others stand by and listen to your conversation. No, this is a definite Starbucks foul. I don’t mind cell phones, as long as they don’t ring; buzzing is okay, and then take your business outside so other busy people such as myself are not privy to your conversation, unless it is good for my “column.”

Underwood Undercover has also observed a certain “Man Ministry” of sorts that takes place at least once a week at her coffee hole. Freshly-scrubbed men of varying ages hold hands, with heads bowed (although I did spot one bowing dude checking out a lycra-clad gym attendee once but perhaps that was a form of “prayer”). Quiet talking ensues (sometimes I think they’re really whispering about me, which they obviously are), and of course tons of coffee is consumed like it’s some sort of holy water. As far as I’m concerned they can have their meeting but I don’t see how they can concentrate on their prayers with all that caffeine coursing through their veins.

Of course who am I to talk – I’m supposed to be writing about happenings in town and here I am watching everyone in my “office.” Whoops, my phone just rang. Forgot the buzzer feature, and just broke my own cardinal rule.

Not only do the “Man Ministry,” and ringing cell phones distract me, but also something else diverts my attention outside today: there are no less than six policemen and three civilians standing outside my headquarters. I check them out closely. Are they about to join hands and pray to the coffee gods? Hmmm…perhaps this will be a good tidbit for my column. I recognize a few of the policeman as “regulars,” so now I can claim that I have my own private protection right here at my place of work, sort of like my own “Secret Service.”

After all, I am Underwood Undercover.

On Sunday, the dynamics change at Starbucks. People flock in for coffee after church. Rummy-eyed parents with soccer/baseball kids in tow rush in for a caffeine pick-me-way-the-heck-up, and large groups congregate (hey, it’s Sunday, congregations are expected!). Empty seats are difficult to find. One family in particular are big offenders of a very obvious rule: “No Squatters Allowed.” They gather most of the chairs around a few tables, thus leaving chair-less tables for the rest of us. This rude family has twenty people in it, and not only are they LOUD, but one of them breaks my DRESS CODE and wears pajama bottoms, posing as pants to my office.

GEEZ!

Then there is the Single Dad and his darling-though-rambunctious child. Said child is about three. Her Dad talks to someone he knows while the small savage runs up, down, and around the displays. I suppose her Dad might finally notice something’s amiss if one of the mugs on the display case crashed to the floor. Rather lazy parenting if you ask me. He has not asked me yet but if he does…Underwood Undercover has her doggy leash in the car, and she’s not afraid to use it.

On someone else’s brat.

So feel free to stop off at Underwood Undercover’s office anytime, especially if you have “newsworthy” information for my “column.”

However, you must follow these rules, or be prepared to suffer the wrath of a totally hyped up and wickedly wired Underwood Undercover:

1. Turn your cell phone to “buzz only.”
2. Wear appropriate attire, no pajamas please.
3. Leash your lively children.
4. Leave at least two chairs to a table.
5. Stop checking out the lycra-clad chicks whilst “praying.”
   

Have a nice day!

Twenty-five years of living in Burien gives Humorist Shawn Underwood much fodder for her writings.

All of her stories are true, or at least have a grain of truth with no added embellishments.

Or something like that.

Read more of her humor at her website here.