Numerous sources tell us that the Normandy Park Police Department was missing one of its finest…dogs…but then found him Sunday.
Apparently Officer “Rocky,” a two-year old bloodhound who weighs 80 pounds, got out of his handler’s yard Saturday night in Des Moines and went missing for a while.
Des Moines police and King county Sheriff’s officers even used a helicopter in the search.
But all is well, as Rocky is back on the beat and sniffing up bad guys as you read this.
No word yet on where Rocky went, why he took off, or what he did during his AWOL time.
SOURCE:
NEWSFLASH: It’s not the roller coaster crashing stock market, bank failures or the impending election that’s a true sign of the apocalypse – it’s little things like this Craigslist Ad that are the real indicators of doom:
Found on: seattle-tacoma craigslist > seattle > general:
WHO’S THE BOSS COMPLETE FIRST SEASON 3 DISK SET – $5 (Seattle/Burien)
Selling Complete First Season of Who’s the Boss.
Great Conditon only been watched once.
Feel free to come by to take a look at it.
Cash Only Please.
Ask for Brian
206-243-2566
901 SW 118th ST
Seattle, WA 98146Email: sale-847642783@craigslist.org
RUN FOR THE HILLS!
PEOPLE ARE SELLING THEIR BELOVED, VIEWED-ONLY-ONCE
“WHO’S THE BOSS” DVDs AT BARGAIN PRICES!
PRAISE BE TONY DANZA!
THE END IS NEAR!
Here’s a fun way to end your week before enjoying the 3-day Labor Day weekend – a humorous Craigslist Ad from someone looking for volunteers for his “Time Warp project.”
We’re not sure if it’s intended to be funny or not, so we’ll let you decide; BTW, we don’t know what “waggerly nonsence” means either:
Found on seattle-tacoma craigslist > seattle > volunteers:
Needing volunteers for my Time Warp project… (Seatac)
Every wanted to travel back into time?
See yourself as you were.
Oh, maybe visit ancient lands and peoples.
Find out the mysteries.
Last nite, I was in the year 1100 A.D.!
How bout that friends.
No waggerly nonsence here.
If you would like to try it for yourself, drop me a line.
Thanks for looking
If you happen to become a successful volunteer for this “project,” please send us an email from the past.
Oh, and if you go back in time to 1982, please tell our then-best friend that no, that was NOT mayonnaise on his sandwich.
Found on seattle-tacoma craigslist > south king > rants & raves:
We have worked both on a “supernatural” TV show (Fox’ “Sightings”) as well as a “kids science” show (“Bill Nye the Science Guy”) so we’ve been on both sides of the fence, which means that we can truly appreciate today’s Craigslist Ad O’The Day about a boyfriend claiming to “see other dimensions” and a skeptic girlfriend’s reaction to it:
Dear loved ones…..
Soooo…..you wouldn’t believe the turn in events with Ben. The seemingly normal guy I have been dating for several weeks? Employed, decently mannered, bathes on a regular basis???
Well, he decided to have a ’serious’ talk with me the other night about something.
What you ask? Lets paint the picture….
Its late. I am tired. Half asleep really….not thinking clearly for sure. Fairly certain that if I blink too long I will drift peacefully into sleep.
But its important! We must talk now! Its been holding him back in our ‘relationship’ and without disclosing this information our ‘relationship’ can’t grow…
Ok. Must be important stuff so I shake off the cobwebs and try to imagine what could possibly be this important at this late hour?
I am expecting he used to be married, has a kid, a terminal disease? Something along those lines…..
But NOOOOO….I could no sooner begin to see this one coming than a nuclear bomb dropped on my house.
He sees dead people.
Ok, maybe not dead people – but people in other dimensions. Apparently since he was a small child he has been able to travel thru dimensions in the ‘clouds’ behind his eyes.
Yep. The clouds behind his eyes.
When he closes his eyes he is able to go thru these clouds and visit different realms and realities. He can have conversations with other people and then remember them word for word. He can even predict that during the winter solstice coming in 2012 there will be such a definitive change in the way the earth aligns with other planets and the sun that it will affect our DNA!!!! Yep! You heard it here first! The earths protons and smallest molecules will be affected – as will our DNA!
Holy sh*t……I better start preparing then! I had no idea that the world was going to change that much in just mere minutes…..11:11p WST to be exact….on 12-21-2012. (start planning your shelter now!)
Apparently those smarty pants Mayans depicted this over 5,000 years ago! And I am just hearing about it? I must be living in one of those clouds Ben sees! Holy smokes……
Well, when I began to question his ‘theories’ on the metaphysical principles he so adamantly states are finite and true!!!! he didn’t take it well and…in true form to those great minds that are misunderstood….threw a hissy fit, called me dumb (ok, he said ‘I wouldn’t expect you to understand’ with obvious sarcasm) and left stating triumphantly….’Adios!!’ as he went out the door!
This is where the shock sets in…..
Wait.
Yep, he just said that. All of it. And my small mind could not grasp the gift of knowledge that he just bestowed upon me so I was deemed unworthy and tossed aside…
Like an old rag. Like I didn’t matter….
Like I meant nothing at all (cue the music please…..)
Well, I don’t know about you but I just must! must! must! get working on my plan to survive the apocalypse that is closing in upon us….I know that my solid body may suffer greatly and my spiritual/metaphysical body may be forever changed due to those pesky protons and neutrons that are coming….
And my DNA…….lets not even think about that!
So, even though it looks like our relationship is over I wanted to pass on the important message that is secretly being spread by the ‘believers’….
Save yourself! The end is coming! 2012!
And, if you please just stop with the negative thinking….embrace the idea that he ‘knows’ this is all real! He (Ben) said so!!!! He has seen it all with his own eyes (over the river and thru the clouds…to Bens mind we go…)
* Oh, and if you know of any NORMAL, single guys that are gainfully employed, don’t live with their parents, and chew with their mouths closed….send em’ my way cuz I am back in the game.
Again.
Found on seattle-tacoma craigslist > seattle > cars & trucks:
stripped car / make and offer / come and get it – $1 (burien / seattle)
Make and offer and come and get this car!!!!
needs to be towed
can be towed to you ( for extra)
From seattle-tacoma craigslist > seattle > furniture:
Got it for $500
tryin to sell for $200 or best offer
here’s a picture but the chair is actually red with black
Email: sale-547361674@craigslist.org
Found on Craigslist> south king > art & crafts:
Elegant special occasion dog dresses to fit small dog or cat.
These are unique dresses made from satin and lace for special occasions, parties, pictures, and more!
Email me at lorrainebridal@yahoo.com if you would like to set up appointment to try dresses on your dog!
Am located between SeaTac Airport and Southcenter Mall.
Dresses can be made for pets in xsmall to large size. Dresses attach with velcro around neck and tummy. Feel free to browse website or email with any questions you may have! Would be happy to make in custom colors!
See full line of dresses at www.81x.com/BridalSewing/SatinNLace website
Prices start at $9.95 per dress.
Found in the Craigslist “Barter” section with the location of “Burien”:
I really do need the help. Do not delete my ad.
Hello,
I am a good cook. Let me cook for you and send you home with leftovers for the freezer. Then you can have home cooked meals every day.
I just spent two days hauling wood and found that it was just too hard on me. Now all the boards need to be cut up with a skill saw (I have the saw). And I ask myself there has got to be some guy who will do this for me.
So for wood cutting and odd jobs around the house I am willing to trade my cooking skills. How does spaghetti, pork roast, pot roast, stew, ham hocks and beans, steak and potatoes sound to you?
I also make beautiful jewelry which you can receive instead of food in case you need that one of a kind gift for someone special.
This is a real ad and I mean exactly what I say.
No funny business.
Right now I need about 2 hours work cutting up boards and I have 5 containers fresh made beef stew to trade. I will help you cut the wood so it will go faster I just need your strong arm to run the saw!!!
So if you are interested please email me back.
Or call me @ 206 529 4845
Thank you Sandy
According to KING-5 News:
Matthew Gardner, a 5-YEAR OLD BOY from Normandy Park, was taken into custody and thoroughly searched at Sea-Tac Airport because his name is similar to a possible terrorist alias and he is on a “no fly list.”
According to Consumerist:
“When his mother went to pick him up and hug him and comfort him during the proceedings, she was told not to touch him because he was a national security risk. They also had to frisk her again to make sure the little Dillinger hadn’t passed anything dangerous weapons or materials to his mother when she hugged him.”
Ain’t America great now that we’re being kept secure from terrorist kindergartners from Normandy Park? (Editor’s Note: for those who don’t know, Normandy Park is a neighborhood located just south of B-Town).
Chant with us: USA! USA! USA!!
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