The Burien City Council had a retreat on January 28, 2012 at the Environmental Science Center. These retreats are open to the public but most citizens do not know about them and the retreats are not broadcast or videotaped. However, it is important to know what is going on at them. For example at this last retreat, Jack Block put forth the idea that the City Council meetings should be changed from Monday to Tuesday or some other night of the week. The reason for the change that was given by Jack was that the City Staff needed more time to prepare for meetings. However, Mike Martin/City Manager told the Councilmembers that there was no need to change the meeting night and his staff could be ready on Mondays just as they have been ready for more than 11 years. Councilmember Lucy K. made it clear the she could not change the night of the meetings from Monday on her calendar due to other professional, business, community and personal commitments. One of the councilmembers attacked her for daring to say this.

So what is the change of the Monday night meeting really about? Well one of the councilmembers – maybe jokingly –said that it was so that some councilmembers could watch Monday night football. However, it is important to remember what happened in the last election cycle, Nov. 2011. Five of the city councilmembers joined together and held a fund raiser to defeat Lucy K. Why? Because she dared to question or voted against their pet projects-the annexation of Area Y, the problematic, badly run animal control program in Burien and against renewing the City Manager’s contract. She won the election by 64% of the vote. Citizens like her because she represents their vote on many issues. The four remaining Councilmembers who wanted her gone are still looking for ways to get rid of her voice and the citizens she represents. Changing the meeting night so that she can’t attend seems to be one way to eliminate her voice and vote. This Council is desperate to silence anyone who questions or speaks out against the annexation of Area Y. They forced Doug Moreland off of the Economic Development Partnership Advisory Board -because he and members of that group presented a report to the Council that stated the annexation of Area Y did not make good economic sense for the City of Burien in the long term. This is exactly what the Berk Report and what some members of the Boundary Review Board have also noted.

So if you are concerned that your citizen elected representative voice, Lucy K., will be silenced by this squeeze play of four Councilmembers, now is the time to email your new mayor. Brian Bennett-the man who ran on the ticket that he believes in quality animal control and animal rights. Email Brian Bennettbrianb@burienwa.gov about this issue. Better still write to Joan M., Rose C., Jack B. or Jerry R. who are pushing to have the meeting night changed for no apparent or emergency reason. Oh Jerry R. mentioned at this retreat that the only legacy that he wished to leave Burien is the annexation of Area Y. Interestingly, he failed to put that on his campaign flyers this last fall. because he was afraid that posting that statement might cost him the election to Debi Wagner. Stay tuned to TV tonight to see what new tricks are unfolding with these four councilmembers. But speak out or email, if you want your vote and voice represented on this Council.

- Roger DeLorm

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Shawn's friend Michelle successfully deciphers Sundance signage and finds the restaurants. Or is it the screening rooms?

by Shawn Underwood

Every time I run into Scott (slave driver) Schaefer he inquires after a ‘bit’ for The B-Town Blog—like I have nothing else to do. Note to self—do not post fun excursions with stupid pictures on Facebook. Scott will come calling…

Last week I was in Utah at the Sundance Film Festival. By happenstance Sundance coincided with a therapy trip for me. Seriously. I have lymphedema in my left leg and well, it’s a long story but if you are interested in medical stuff, you can follow up on my lymphedema blog. My surgery and follow up treatment are documented. But I digress.

My friend’s husband scored several premiere tickets for us. The one and only Sundance Kid made an appearance before the movie and can I just say, HANDSOME, HOT AND SUPER HOT!!! You get the picture, and oh yeah, he said something too but I was distracted. Go figure.

The first movie we ‘premiered’ in Park City, was suitably named; ‘The Queen of Versailles’. It detailed the rise and subsequent fall of the King of Time-Shares, Mr. Segal and wife, Jackie, a former over-exposed, Mrs. America. The documentary/reality show is a testament to waste and bad taste, with the opening scene documenting the construction of the ‘biggest house in America.’ It ended as a riches to rags story. Mr. Time –Share’s final line, ‘are we done here?’ Very telling. Theater gossip says Mr. Time-Share is suing Sundance and the movie producer for defamation. Coincidentally, this was also one of the first movies sold at Sundance, where none of the movies (for the first time in Sundance history) had distribution before being premiered. Mrs. Segal sat near the front of the theater. Her husband, very noticeably absent.

Luckily, the second show we had tickets for took place at the Sundance resort. Let me just say—LOVE what Bob’s done with the resort. No messing with the masses in order to board a shuttle bound for a high school posing as a movie theater. Sundance Resort houses the original ‘screening room’. We lined up for Monsieur Lazhar, a Canadian film that appears on the recently announced Oscar shortlist for foreign language films. The film has also been nominated for a Genie award—the Canadian Oscar. Based on the play Evelyne de la Cheneliere, Monsieur Lazhar walks unannounced into the principal’s office to apply for a recently vacated teachers position. He is unaware the teacher has committed suicide. The principal—nearly undone by the act of the well-liked teacher, hires him. Eventually we discover the Algerian immigrant, Mr. Lazhar is battling his personal demons yet he is able to move past this and bond with his students. There are moments of lightness in the film—a relief in an otherwise very emotional story. Well worth seeing, however we didn’t SEE anyone famous—that happened later in the evening during dinner.

Mr. Chris Rock attended Sundance to preview his new film, “2 Days in New York.” Chris and I split a steak and Caesar salad at a great steak house in Park City. Well sort of – I split a steak with my friend and Chris sat across from us. It’s like we shared a dinner together. Really.

So as I was saying, later in the evening at the Canyon Resort VIP big deal party I ran into, oh you know…Jason Ritter, Jesse Eisenberg (the Facebook dork dude), Hercules aka: Kevin Sorbo, Entertainment Tonight guy and Bare Naked Ladies lead singer guy (close second to Bob in HOT category). For some reason, I had a sudden attack of shyness and talked to ummm, nobody. Nobody famous anyway, but I got my groove on and learned a few new dance moves from the mostly twenty-something guests.

And finally, Mr. B-Town Blog (super famous) wants to know how Sundance Resort and Park City compare to B-town. Well we have the Tin Theater in Tin-sel town also know as Burien, the Hi-Liners put on a fine show, AND I hear Mr. B-Town Blog is starting his own radio station…

Twenty-five years of living in Burien gives Humorist Shawn Underwood much fodder for her writings.

All of her stories are true, or at least have a grain of truth with no added embellishments.

Or something like that.

And have you bought her new book “Mommy Are We French Yet?” yet? Buy it here.

Read more of her humor at her website here.

by Dave Markwell

I had the unfortunate experience of passing a mirror the other day. I did not look as good as I felt and it made me mad. I felt like the mirror was tricking me, because in my head, I looked much better. I had witnessed myself looking better many times. I was sure of it. What was this stupid mirror’s friggin’ problem!?! I wondered. After some soul searching and kicking my dog, I came to the conclusion that mirrors are both criminally deceptive and warmly reassuring. They are both tremendous liars and unbearably honest and it really depends on the day as to which I prefer. It depends on whether the lie or the truth makes me feel better. Usually, I suspect, it’s the lie.

This mirror passing incident inspired much thought about how we look. I mean how we REALLY look. It seems that how we look changes all the time. Some days, I look in the mirror and think, “Not too shabby, Markwell. Not too shabby.” Other days, I see a thin-haired, rather Shrek-ish creature unworthy of even a cross glance in my direction. I don’t know if my looks really change that dramatically or not. However, I do notice that sometimes other peoples’ looks do indeed change. I can look at my son one day and see a fine, handsome, and intelligent kid capable of capturing the heart of the fairest maiden in the kingdom, otherwise known as the hottest chick in class. Other days, I look at him and see a creepy, hairy, little rodent complete with the big teeth and yellow eyes and I am sad with the understanding that he is going to die lonely. I love him either way, so don’t judge me here…and it’s unlikely that he’s really that ugly anyway, even on a bad day, but here lies my question: What do we really look like? Are we our best or our worst vision of ourselves? And what determines which look we see? Many factors, I’m sure, shape our perception, but I think the most urgent one is simply how we feel. When we feel good we look good, even to ourselves. It is impossible to look bad, feeling good. I have known plenty of average, if not outright ugly, people who look beautiful, because they are happy. Likewise, I have known many of pretty, but ugly folks as well. Beauty is an illusion. It is a magic trick. It is not a “look” and cannot be seen. It is felt. Beauty is a personality and has its own life. It lives in an easy smile and a kind word, a hearty laugh and a genuinely concerned frown. It is that which connects us as human animals on our deeper levels.

Our judgment of beauty is sometimes primitive, largely banal and usually involves unseen elements of character which sway the eyeball one direction or another. I believe, though, that we will always recognize and appreciate a truly beautiful soul, sometimes even our own. With this in mind, I will not call my son ugly just because he invents, on a daily basis, new ways to shave time off of my life. I know, more than anyone, how truly extraordinary he is. And if the mirror is unkind to me, I will simply shine a casual middle finger in its direction and move on with my day. A mirror can’t feel the minute variations in a heartbeat or see inside a soul and that’s where everything important and truly beautiful resides.

[EDITOR'S NOTE:"Feel Good Friday" is a regular column written by Des Moines resident Dave Markwell, who extols to all neighbors: "Enjoy where we live. Put your feet on the pavement and truly feel how great it is to live here!" Also, you can "friend" Dave on Facebook here. Or work out with him at his new exercise company Waterland CrossFit!]

Both sons of my neighbor came over to apologize for the actions of their friend, “Mr. Chainsaw”. They assured me that they had not given him permission to cut the wood on my property, and they were angry that he had lied and reflected poorly on them.

One son called Mr. Chainsaw over to my house. He stood at my front door and apologized. He also agreed to come do storm damage cleanup and hauling for a couple of days, under my supervision and with one of the neighbors, to make amends and as compensation for the loss in value of the cypress he had cut up. In addition, he returned the two huge rounds of wood that he had cut off the 6 foot log.

Here’s her original Letter, first posted on Jan. 22:

The fee quoted by the arborist to remove the tree was enough to make anyone’s jaw drop onto the snowy ground. But it was mid-afternoon and getting dark. I had a tree on my roof and needed to get it off. And I was still on stun.

“Fine. Get the tree off the roof.” And that’s all he did for the price, taking full advantage of a bad situation. Removal and cleanup would have been an added fee. The urgency of my situation formed dollar signs in the eyes of the arborist.

The second tree, at the road, was brought down at no charge by Seattle City Light because of the danger it posed to the neighborhood’s lines. The crew was courteous and generous, welcome attitudes after the arborist’s pushy greed the day before. The 100 ft. trunk was cut into manageable pieces and dropped into a pile on the side of my property. The base of the trunk was left at a 6 ft. length, and lay in my lower parking area. I figured that all of this could be dealt with in a day or two, after the snow and ice melted.

The next afternoon, I was talking to a local artist that offered to buy that 6 ft. length of cypress for a commercial project she was working on. We measured it, and brainstormed about potential ways to integrate the wood into her project. She’d come by in a day or two, with a truck and some help, to pick up the heavy piece of wood.

An hour later, now dark, I heard a chainsaw droning on and on. I thought, “who in the world is using a chainsaw this late?” Then I realized the sound seemed to be coming from where the cypress log lay.

I flew out the door and to the road and won’t repeat the expletives that came out of my mouth. The cypress trunk was now only 4 feet long. Mr. Chainsaw was standing on my property, under the street lamp, making firewood out of my wood that had been destined for an art piece. Technically, doesn’t this amount to trespassing and attempted theft?

Mr. Chainsaw said that my neighbors across the street had told him he could cut and take it. Really? Couldn’t he (shouldn’t he) have come knocking on my door to ask politely, “Excuse me, but will you be using the wood from your tree that came down? May I cut it and take it?”

And, what were my neighbors thinking in granting permission that they had no right to grant?

We have all heard reports of post-disaster looting and artificially-high rates for repair and cleanup. It seems to me that after we’ve all endured snow, ice, power outages, downed trees, property damage, loss of work, etc., we should more readily offer generosity, respect… and lawfulness. An urgent situation does not grant license to forego courtesy and propriety! We will not be united through greed and opportunism.

My experience due to the downing of my trees gave me a glimpse into a “darkside” viewpoint. Fortunately, that glimpse was contrasted by the many offers of help, and by a plate of fresh-baked cookies brought over by my elder neighbors, an enduring sweet spot in the middle of a sour-tasting time.

– Maureen Hoffmann

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A recent article in the Highline Times illustrates how little we as humans really understand of nature and salmon recovery: http://www.highlinetimes.com/2012/01/09/news/csi-highline-investigation-uncovers-more-salmon-s. This year Miller Creek has shown a remarkable amount of salmon returning to the creek.  There are far more fish returning than the Port of Seattle, the Cities of Normandy Park and Burien and the citizens of the area ever expected to count. When the third runway was under dispute, the Port of Seattle claimed that there were no fish in Miller Creek and therefore claimed there was nothing worthy of protection in the creek. Only through the constant efforts and insistence of the two groups-Trout Unlimited and CASE-was the Port forced to do a study on the fish populations in the creek. When the scientists came out to do an electric shock treatment on the creek, they found that Miller Creek was a creek that had fish population worthy of saving. Of course those of us who have lived around the creek-citizen scientists-knew this from their own personal observations.

While more fish are returning to the creek than ever expected, there are still some big problems for the fish. 40% of the fish are dying before they can spawn due to polluted storm water.For sure Burien needs to improve its Storm Water management system. Burien has known this for a long time but simply has not allocated the adequate funding to do the job correctly-to keep the waters clean. As individual citizens we can still do our part to help in the recovery of Miller Creek and the entire Sound. Please follow these simple practices in your own neighborhood and help to keep the fish that manage to make it back to the creek alive and spawning in Miller Creek.

HOW TO MINIMIZING SURFACE AND STORM WATER RUNOFF:

• Preserve plantings next to streams, lakes, wetlands and the Sound.  Plant trees and shrubs native to the Northwest whenever possible.
• Control pet access to streams and lakes.  Pet wastes-poop-degrade water quality.
• Maintain your vehicle regularly.  Leaking substances from vehicles contains toxic metals and are a major source of water pollution.
• Wash your vehicles on the grass, over dirt or at a commercial car wash.  Keep suds out of streams, lakes and the Sound.
• Recycle your motor oil at the nearest gas station.  Don’t dump it down the storm drain or pour it on the ground.
• Sweep your walks and driveway instead of hosing them down.  Dirt, gravel and debris from these paved surfaces contain contaminants that pollute water.
• Reduce the use of chemicals, pesticides and fertilizers.  If you fertilize your lawn, use a fertilizer with the lowest numbers available.  Try to use a fertilizer with a zero as the middle number-example 3-0-3.  The middle number is the amount Phosphorus in the fertilizer and it is this element that causes toxic algae problems in the shorelines.  By the year 2014, this element will be outlawed in fertilizers.
• Maintain your septic tank.

Sincerely,
Linda Plein

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by Dave Markwell

“Dad, you need to make my sandwich”, my twelve year old son, Aden, informed me this morning. And so began our daily dance. Every single day, we both don’t want to make the sandwich, so every single day we bob and weave trying to avoid it. His strategy is to dink around and stall for twenty minutes collecting his school stuff and falsely searching for his shoes and socks until I have to make the sandwich. My strategy is less sophisticated: I sit on the couch drinking coffee and yell at him to “hurry up”. This doesn’t work. He screws around until I am faced with the choice of making his stupid sandwich or wasting a half-hour of my valuable morning time driving him to school because he missed his bus. I always make the sandwich. I hate making his sandwiches. I have made hundreds of them. I used to enjoy it. I used to feel dutiful and loving and proud while making his lunch. I don’t feel this way anymore. In the past, I would sneak a secret treat into his lunchbox to surprise him. I would imagine him finding my gift and declaring to all his classmates seated near him in the school cafeteria that he and he alone, had the best Dad ever! I don’t care about this anymore. Now, I just want him to make his own damn sandwich.

I’m not sure when this changed, but I suspect it has been a progression. I recall no definitive moment standing as a benchmark between times. It just happened. Somewhere along the way, things changed and the doting, ever-concerned father was replaced with a somewhat indifferent and passive man bearing a rather eerie resemblance to my own Dad. It is happening. I am becoming my Dad. I swore I never would, but it was inevitable, I suppose. We become our parents, just as they become theirs. And so it has been since time began.

As I ponder this phenomenon, the only conclusion I can draw is that all kids possess a diabolical power to transform their otherwise reasonable, rational, thoughtful and intelligent parents into mindless and shameless servants. They need things that only we can provide and we have a duty to provide these things. They know we have this duty and so, they manipulate our sense of this duty to turn us into resentful, yet still compliant lackeys placed on this earth to serve only their needs. We are mobile, but beaten robots. We are the defeated.

Since the dawn of parenthood, kids have been screwing over parents exactly this way. It’s what they do. Our job is to take it. It’s what we do. I say this without ill regard or malevolent intent. It is just so. It doesn’t bother me all of the time, just most of the time. I have become a servant, a serf, whose purpose is serving my kingdom’s masters. The masters happen to be a lovely, slightly snotty, eight year old girl and the aforementioned too-smart-for-his-own-good twelve year old boy. They direct my day, hour by hour, minute by minute. They own me. I say this without complaint, only somber resignation. It is what it is and I signed up for it.

“DAD!! DAD!! DAD!!, Diego threw up in my room. Come quick!!” my girl bellowed from the hallway just as I sat down on the comfy couch for an afternoon snack. I didn’t want to clean up dog puke. But I did. I didn’t want to scrape the still warm and soft, half-digested Purina off the carpet. But I did. I did this and I will do this for some time, I suspect. I am here to serve whenever and wherever directed, including and probably especially, on the super nasty jobs. So it goes.

“Hold on, Sweetie!! Let me get a towel!” I replied to my little gal… with a much better understanding about why my Grandma and Grandpa always looked so happy watching my parents serve their masters…

[EDITOR'S NOTE:"Feel Good Friday" is a regular column written by Des Moines resident Dave Markwell, who extols to all neighbors: "Enjoy where we live. Put your feet on the pavement and truly feel how great it is to live here!" Also, you can "friend" Dave on Facebook here. Or work out with him at his new exercise company Waterland CrossFit!]

WOW who writes this stuff for the City of Burien website. Currently on the website under annexation of north Highline this statement is made in the last paragraph, “…Financially feasible, and even provide additional resources to the City above the costs of annexation, since Burien would receive up to $5 million a year for ten years …”.

Amazing how wrong our City staff can be! Let me quote Washington state law RCW 82.14.415(6), “All revenues collected under this section SHALL be used SOLELY to provide, maintain, and operate municipal services FOR THE ANNEXATION AREA.”

How does the above quoted state law allow Burien (or any other City) to “provide additional resources to the City ABOVE the costs of annexation”? If the City writer cared to learn more he/she might try reading RCW 82.14.415(7) which further details what the annexing City MUST do with these Sales Tax Credits and what to do if the Credits actually exceed the costs of providing services in the area.

Okay now to give the City staffer a math lesson. It is NOT POSSIBLE for the City of Burien to receive anything near $5 million. Not even possible to receive near $1 million. Why? Because the above state law specifically details the formula upon which any City receives this Tax credit. The credit is based upon the state’s Sales Tax collected in the annexing City not as reported in the BERK Report based upon the City Sales tax.

Manager Mike Martin has already stated that Burien, “has received a total of $584,000 to date to help the city provide services in the NORTH Burien annexed area” referring to the Area X north highline. That amount is nowhere near $5 million as referred to in the website. Even if Burien annexes Area Y and again based upon sales tax formula the City MIGHT be able to get an additional $200,000 since the sales tax would then include those collected in Burien to INCLUDE Area Y (White Center business area). Burien does not have a snowballs chance to collected “up to $5 million” EVER. Note the City of Auburn received its first annexation check in 2008 for $1.25 million. Auburn has a enormous retail and commercial sales tax base compared to Burien. How could anyone speak of getting “up to $5 million” when it not even a remote possibility? Unless it is written to purposefully deceive, such a statement is grossly incompetent.

Who writes this stuff for the City? How could these significant errors get past the City Manager and the Council?

- Chuck Rangel
Burien

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On January 9th I attended a Boundary Review Board meeting at Cascade Middle School to listen to people make their cases either for or against a Burien annexation of what is known as “Unincorporated King County Area Y.”  Only one thing was really clear when I left this meeting: I am concerned about how this annexation is being approached.

To be clear right off the bat, I have not decided if I am for or against annexation of North Highline yet and I had hoped that these meetings would help me decide. What I experienced at this meeting was a lot of noise and what I am starting to believe is willful ignorance towards the facts.

Person after person got up at the meeting and talked about how the City of Burien was trying to pull a fast one on everyone or how the BERK report was a scam or incomplete or how we don’t want “those people” or “all that crime” in Burien. What stood out to me was how many of these people had no factual evidence to support their claims and most had no background in what they talking about. I was amazed at how many people spoke with such authority on matters such as finances, city planning, urban development, crime, and the morality of Burien City Council Members when most, if not all of the speakers had no platform or experience from which to speak from with such expertise.

A number of speakers were allowed to speak for longer than 3 minutes because they claimed to represent groups of citizens concerned about annexation. In these extended speeches I heard a number of outright factual errors about finances, education, and crime. The City of Burien and the King County Sheriffs Department have provided plenty of information about these topics on their website but for some reason these speakers “facts” and figures were no where close to what the City of Burien and the King County Sheriffs Department have provided. That tells me that these speakers are either patriotic Americans who are standing up against our deceptive local government or people who don’t care about facts, only care about what they want to be true, and don’t care how much they have to stretch the truth to get what they want. I think the latter is probably the most likely.

One of these speakers, the wife of newly elected Burien City Council Member Bob Edgar, Chestine Edgar, went as far as to claim that the region (Burien and White Center) are “over saturated with libraries.” Mrs. Edgar, I want you to know that I disagree with your support of the two Burien libraries being closed and believe that you are stretching the truth if not outright lying* when speak against annexation.

*EDITOR’S NOTE: We spoke with Ms. Edgar shortly after this letter was published, and she states that she did not make the statement Mr. McCumber quoted her as saying. Also, we encourage future Letter Writers to defer using accusatory, slanderous language.

I was also extremely concerned about Burien City Council Member Lucy Krakowiak’s actions at the meeting last night. When it came to speaking about Burien libraries being closed, she chose to not speak her opinion about the issue as it may be a conflict of interest because she is both a City Council Member and a member of the King County Library Board. Last night Krakowiak showed no hesitation to speak her opinion about annexation. I perceived her actions at the meeting last night to be very hypocritical and again made me wonder if she understands her elected role.

I still do not know if I will support or oppose the annexation of the unincorporated area, but I do know that the decision should be made out of reasonableness and factual evidence.

- Mike McCumber – Burien

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by Dave Markwell

After a 14 hour travel day, I am too brain-fried to trust the column I have written. I can’t tell if it’s good or if it sucks. When this happens I will pull something from my quiver and hope it strikes a target. This piece was written as a “speech” for my friends, Eric and Michelle’s, wedding last summer. It felt good to write and felt good for me to read it again. Happy Feel Good Friday!!! -Dave

While preparing for today’s presentation, I looked around a bit to see what others have had to say about marriage. I looked to the sages and philosophers from the ages and discovered many beautiful, gushing, flowing and important words; Words that inspired and affected and sang to me. Words that made me want to marry my wife over and over again every day. As impressive as some of these words were, they in large part lacked a fundamental element important to me when saying something: they lacked truth. They were not necessarily untrue. Their words simply didn’t tell the whole story and they were, I think, likely written by people who had never actually been married and understood that a real marriage is not all candlelit kisses and longing looks. Real marriages, invariably, involves bad moods and bad breath and at some point bringing the other person a new roll of toilet paper as they sit needing more toilet paper. I think these experiences are more common than the sentiments expressed by the smart people. A real marriage is more complicated. A real marriage involves varying amounts of conflict and frustration and concession. As human beings we are all flawed and we carry these flaws to a marriage. On a daily basis, our own goofy baggage muddies the waters and raises eyebrows and sometimes the voice of our spouse, who tries to make sense of the senseless. A real marriage is not a clean and tidy business. It can get messy.

In evaluating the countless ways I have made messes in my own marriage, I have come to understand that while my messes may not be avoidable, the impact of these things can be somewhat offset by doing good things, too. Being flawed individuals, we are going to make messes. We are going to say and do some profoundly stupid things. However, these things need not completely undermine an otherwise good relation. By consciously involving our better demons on a daily basis, we can, on some level, shave the sharp edges off of our bad choices. These involve deliberate and intentional effort, but they are worth it, every time. Things we can do include sharing, giving, understanding and doing, even and maybe especially, when you don’t feel like it. I’ve found that doing something when you don’t really feel like it, is perhaps the most important time to do anything.

First, share: share ideas and hopes and dreams and the last piece of bacon. Share the parts of yourself that are awkward and uncomfortable. Share your fears and concerns. Share a true laugh and a true tear. A certain emotional nudity is vital to creating a marriage of substance. When we strip ourselves bare and trust that the other will not point and laugh, a deeper connection is built and a foundation is laid for a relationship of meaning. This relationship makes both people better.

Next, give: Give what you have. An element of service exists in a good marriage. From doing the dishes to mowing the lawn to putting away your shoes to putting the toilet seat up-or down-whichever the case requires, marriage involves doing things that prevent tension. We don’t always want to do these things, but that doesn’t matter. Doing things we don’t want to do is called giving. And doing these things says “I love you” better than the words can.

Closely tied to giving is understanding. Understanding what to give involves understanding where the other person places value. What matters to them are the things we need to be aware of: How do they like their coffee? What’s their favorite flower? What do they think about and care about? Understanding these things makes appropriate giving possible and appropriate giving makes a happy day possible.

To have understanding is very simple: one must PAY ATTENTION. People are subtle. Preferences and trends involve nuance. Being tuned into the other’s heartbeat is the cornerstone of a successful marriage. What’s important is, unfortunately, rarely obvious, thusly, we must pay attention to the gentle shifts in a look or a tone of voice to direct us. Being distinctly different animals, men and women struggle for this understanding, but by watching and learning and caring to understand, an imperfect balance can be attained.

After the “I dos” come the “I wills” and married life begins. Here lies the challenge of carrying on the wedding day bliss. Beyond the “I do” come other words that are just as valuable. Words like “Thank you” “You look nice” “Can I help?” “What do you need” and maybe most importantly the words, “I’m sorry” and “It’s OK.” Forgiveness is necessary. Given our aforementioned flaws, mistakes will be made and forgiving and moving on is the only way to have a marriage that can sustain the inevitable bonehead moves.

We live a life of days. Each day consists of moments. Some are breath-taking and some are eye-rolling and these moments make a life. Any life and certainly a married life is the sum of the moments we create. Life is not a single event. It is an anthology of moments. We have absolute control over these moments. With these moments, we humanize and encourage and support each other. With these moments, we make the other person feel good and we become better. These seemingly innocuous, anonymous little moments, a delicate touch on the back of her neck when passing in the kitchen, an unrequested, but very welcome snack, a head on the shoulder while sitting on the couch watching bad TV, these moments set the stage and a tone. Acknowledging and recognizing that these small moments matter and indeed may be the biggest moments there are, is elemental. The gentle, yet vital moments of loving being in a moment with the person you love changes us. They connect us and bind us and are the place where our truest smiles live. They are important in the ways they shape a life together. All of the beauty and magic of a married life live here. Having, making and enjoying a life of moments is the surest way to having, making and enjoying a married life together. As the sun rises and sets in a brief moment, so does life, and nothing is more majestic, powerful, or important to a good day and a good life than appreciating the significance of a single moment. Nothing matters more than a simple and fleeting moment.

So Eric and Michelle, I wish you both a life filled with a vast and wonderful collection of these simple, loving moments that will enrich you and enliven you and make it all worthwhile.

[EDITOR'S NOTE:"Feel Good Friday" is a regular column written by Des Moines resident Dave Markwell, who extols to all neighbors: "Enjoy where we live. Put your feet on the pavement and truly feel how great it is to live here!" Also, you can "friend" Dave on Facebook here. Or work out with him at his new exercise company Waterland CrossFit!]

‘We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day’

- Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Did you know?
Students K-12 can get free homework help from trained volunteer tutors in many KCLS Libraries:

• Boulevard Park Library -Wednesday, January 11,18th, & 25th 6pm-8pm
• Burien Library -Monday through Thursday from 3:30pm-5:30pm
• White Center Library -Tuesday, January 10, 17, & 24 3pm-5pm & Wednesday & Thursday 5:30pm-7:30pm

Look for the volunteer in the blue tee shirt with the yellow Study Zone logo

‘Book Buddies’
Is a great new program created by the Burien Teen and Children’s Librarians to help elementary kids with their reading, trained high school volunteers will provide one-on-one reading help for children in grades K-4:

• Monday, January 9th, 23rd, & 30th; beginning at 4pm @ the Burien Library

Drop-in, no registration is required

Fulfill your New Year’s resolution to READ MORE – join US!
Burien Book Club will be discussing ‘Lost Flamingoes of Bombay’ by Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi

• Wednesday, January 18th beginning at 2pm; Conference room on the second floor

Book Review:
‘In the Garden of Beasts; Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler’s Berlin’ by Erik Larson

Erik Larson sheds new and alarming insights on the people, politics, and policies that enabled Hilter’s government to take complete control over Germany and illuminates how and why these events could have happened.

This story unfolds around two key members of an American family sent to Germany in the years before World War II began.

William Dodd was appointed by President Roosevelt as Ambassador to Germany in 1933. Dodd was a soft spoken and often maligned individual who did not fit the ‘pretty good club’ ambassadorial mold of wealthy privileged appointees before him. Still, he stuck to his ethical and moral standards and strived to be a voice of reason and clarity. Dodd sought to raise the alarm flag as daily occurrences of oppression, censorship, and violence were perpetrated on ordinary citizens, even Americans, and especially on the Jewish community by the Third Reich. His messages were often muted, overlooked, and sometimes downright ignored by the State Department and others who did not think Dodd should ever have been appointed as Ambassador.

Martha Dodd, Ambassador Dodd’s daughter, was also in the spotlight during the prewar days in Berlin.  Martha was at first enthused by the ‘fresh faces’ of the Hitler Youth and inspired by their vigor and beauty. Martha became socially, if not romantically involved with a number of officers from the Nazi party, including Gestapo chief Rudolf Deils, but as events unfolded she too became disenchanted with the Third Reich and eventually switched her allegiances to the Communist Party(another story entirely!).

Larson skillfully portrays the events of 1933-34 Berlin from the perspective of everyday citizens as well as from those in positions of power.  Larson answers the question ‘how could this happen?’ very clearly.

Highly recommended – available as eAudio, eBook, on CD, and in Large Print.

- Marilee A. Cogswell

Marilee A. Cogswell is the Manager of the Burien Library.